Anecdote #13:  Once I found myself in a beautiful Hotel in Skopje, Macedonia. Macedonia is a land-locked county bordered by Kosovo, Serbia, and Albania.  Being so far from home and distracted by the unfamiliar and rumored dangerous new surroundings I felt a little uneasy but this place was a palace and I felt safe here.  After checking in I decided to have a look at the amenities. The hotel offered a spa in the basement. I had never before paid for a professional massage and was excited to make an appointment.  I waited in the hot tub until my masseuse was ready.  He was a very strong and hairy slavic man who did not speak english. I laid on the table still in my suit.  I was suffering from a bought of sciatica at the time and enjoyed his strength as he dug deeply into my warm tight muscles.  I was a little shocked when he pulled down my bathing suit bottoms so quickly, but just as soon relaxed when he began to work on my gluteus maximus.  I was enjoying this massage until...woah! His thumbs slipped into a part of me that I had forgotten was there! WOAH! He did it again!  I swiftly turned around and gave him the universal facial expression for,  "keep the fuck away from my girl parts dude!"  After the initial invasion I laid there for a few more moments a little confused. Caught somewhere between feeling molested and disturbingly interested in an encounter with a hairy stranger.  My prude took over when it happened a third time and I decided to bolt off the table grab my things and go.